...next I knew, flat on my back, serious pain across my forehead, tears uncontrollably flowing, taste of blood in my mouth and an intense sense of embarrassment.

The perils of not looking where you're going when walking fast.

I would like to thank the anonymous young man and his wife, who although intoxicated, showed great kindness and concern until I had regained my composure.

Not so much the pounding 'dum dum' of hooves on hollow ground, more the squelching 'squish squash' on soggy turf. 

Lakes where cars parked, mud and slurry ankle deep all around.  Then the heavens opened and it rained, until one thought it couldn't rain any harder.  Then it did.  I acquired a new red waterproof jacket that was field tested successfully.

Sunday's Hickstead Derby. 01 July!

Armed with multiple rain coats, water tight boots and a sense of determination Mum and I went on our annual outing to RHS Hampton Court Flower Show for a girlie day out, being inspired by gardens, a spot of shopping, a bite to eat, an ice-cream on the lake and a glass of Pimms.   We'd heard the forecast so we were prepared.  It's rained before.  In fact last year, or the year before, if memory serves, they closed the show early due to high winds, and another year it was washed out the day after we'd attended. So temperamental weather is not unusual. 

We've never, however, been exposed to a continuous roll of torrential rain, thunder and lightening - not the best when you're walking on metal board walks.  When it was too wet (torrential, lightning etc), we sheltered where we could and then continued on our way when it subsided.  We still had a lovely day, and I bought a couple of plants for soon-to-be-constructed new back yard.  But once our underwear was wet we knew it was time to go home.  The forecast for the rest of the week is just as bad.  It was extremely wet and muddy on day one. Heaven knows what it will be like by the time the general public masses descend on Thursday.  Everyone today seemed determined to make the most of it, despite the weather, though I'm sure that those departing were rather ladden with plants and acquisitions than other years.

Where to start?  A total rollercoaster of emotions.  At one point I thought I was back on the road to insanity, but I seem to be back on stable ground again.  Sort of at least.   

We had the funeral of my great Uncle Glyn today, and mum and dad did themselves proud.  It was a lovely, moving and personal ceremony and I was particular moved when it was mentioned that I found his much treasured watch in his dying days, an item that was of particular importance to him.  It was great as always to meet up my with my first cousins, second cousins and counsins once removed (or that's what we think we worked it out as) whom we only ever seem to meet at funerals and promise that we must just get together for the hell of it next time.  I didn't think I'd be particular upset, but whitnessing someones last dying days has a profound effect on you, even if at the time your unaware. 

Perhaps the timing wasn't so sensible, but this morning, before the funeral, I had my long awaited and somewhat delayed first consultation with the psyciatrist in my efforts to work towards resolving my tendancies towards depression.  He's referred me for cognitive therapy, which is what was anticipated and suggested by my doctor so I shall just have to wait and see.  I've made a start.  Which is something.  Something has to give, and it can't be my mental health any more.

"The One" called tonight to let me know that he has started dating someone (we'd discussed previously) and to check if I was ok with him staying next weekend.  I appreciate his honesty and integrity.  But to my suprise my most overwhelming emotion was one of disappointment that any inkling that I might have had the opportunity to celebrate my birthday with a bit of shared, we're-both-single-and-grown up "affection" was now dashed.  And I really needed something to take my mind off things right now and that might have been a perfect symbiotic situation.  Oh well.  I wont be seeing my birthday in with a bang then!